每一周，充满乐观精神的Phil Johnson都会用轻松愉快的方式帮助大家传递发生在技术领域的重要消息与其中的新闻人物。
Every week, the optimistic Phil Johnson helps to convey important news and news figures in the field of technology in an easy and pleasant way.
——老板，为了安全起见，IT部门的小精灵们建议您更新杀毒软件并把金正恩从“坏孩子”名单移到“好孩子”名单里头。
& mdash; & mdash; boss, in the interest of safety, the elves of the IT Department suggest that you update the antivenom software and move Kim Jong-un from &ldquao; bad children & rdquao; list to &ldquao; good children & & rdquao; list.
十二月二十四日——圣诞老人从索尼身上获得教训
多年以来，人们总是认为朝鲜领导人在圣诞节期间最想要的礼物就是一袜子煤球。然而在今年的索尼被黑事件之后国，人们忽然发现一部影射朝鲜的电影足以从技术层面闹出这么大的动静，因此这一回圣诞老人可能也得放聪明一点、给金正恩准备些他真正喜欢的礼物。毕竟小精灵们虽然在制造玩具方面是一把好手，但其IT安全保障能力恐怕就没那么出色了。
For many years, it has been thought that the most wanted gift for North Korean leaders during Christmas is a socked coal ball. However, this year , after Sony was blacked , people suddenly discovered that a shadowed North Korean film was enough to make such a technical noise, so this Santa might have to be smart and prepare Kim Jong-un with something that he really liked.
——Xbox，快把蜡烛点上。
& mdash; & mdash; Xbox, light the candles.
十二月十九日——Xbox One绝非万能
December 19th
就在上周末，我的小侄子向我展示了Xbox One是一款多么伟大的娱乐产品——特别是它允许用户通过语音指令完成的全部操作。这类功能虽然听起来确实很赞也相当吸引人，但世界上总有些事还是得由咱们自己手动完成，尤其是在这辞旧迎新的好时节。不过说句实话，如果Xbox One能让我动动嘴就把圣诞树立起来，我还真愿意买上这么一台。
Just last weekend, my nephew showed me what a great entertainment product & mdash; & mdash; especially if it allows users to do all the work through voice commands. While it does sound impressive and attractive, there are things in the world that we have to do by hand, especially in these days. But to be honest, if Xbox One can make me talk, I'd really like to buy one.
智能圣诞树大家族，依次为：iOS、Android与Windows
The intelligent Christmas tree family, in turn: iOS, Android and Windows
十二月十二号——我们要的是Android树，你个笨蛋！
如果大家还沉浸在对自儿时开始就在生命中伴随我们成长的非“智能”圣诞树的喜爱当中，那么接下来我要带来一点坏消息：智能圣诞树已经成为现实。不过大多数朋友买回家的肯定还是那些傻了吧唧、一动不动但却永远经典的真正树木，而且在有生之年都不打算在这方面作出什么改变。然而时代总在向前推进，相信在不久的将来我们要选择的已经不再是云杉、松树或者杉木，而是iOS、Android或者Windows。不过令我好奇的是，作为史努比的主人，查理布朗会选择哪种圣诞树呢？
If you're still immersed in the non-“ smart & rdquo; the love of the Christmas tree that we grow from childhood to childhood, then I will bring some bad news:
——我发现从传统评判标准出发，今年我确实是个“坏孩子”。但我的高级行为分析方案却给出了完成不同的结论。 & mdash; & mdash; I found out from the traditional criteria of judgment that this year I am a & ldquao; bad kids & & rdquao; but my advanced behavioral analysis program has come to a different conclusion. 十二月三日——大数据令圣诞老人大感头痛 December 3rd 在近一段时间以来热火朝天的将一切数据归为己用的技术浪潮当中，我可以说是个彻头彻尾的拥护者。举例来说，我之前曾经撰写过一篇文章，探讨大数据能够如何帮助企业雇主更准确地识别出水平出色的程序员。不过我们必须得面对现实，有时候人们对于数据分析的信赖确实有点过火。体育竞技就是最好的例子，在我看来如今事情已经开始偏离轨道。例如，我们真的需要用先进分析机制来计算捕手的运动指标吗？我希望在认定谁是好孩子、谁是坏孩子的时候，圣诞老人能尽量避开等级分析机制、继续用温暖的心灵对这一切作出评判。 For example, I have previously written an article on . But we have to face reality, and people sometimes rely a little too much on data analysis. Sports competition is the best example. ——好了各位，让我们再次重申感恩内容的基本原则：严禁讨论移动操作系统领域的敏感话题。 & mdash; & mdash; well, let's repeat the basic principle of the content of gratitude: the discussion of sensitive topics in the field of mobile operating systems is strictly forbidden. #p# 十一月二十六日——如何安详和睦地度过感恩节 明天就是感恩节了，在每年的这一天中无数家庭都会与亲朋好友齐聚一堂，围坐在放在丰盛美食的桌边共同讨论时下的热点话题。但为了保证这美好时刻不被争吵甚至吼叫所摧毁，请千万别把那些敏感、容易引发纠纷的内容引入其中——特别是移动操作系统的站队问题。当然，除非各位的家中都是清一色的iOS党、Android党或者黑莓党，也可能（虽然机率很小）大家都使用Windows Phone。你知道的，这纯粹是出于安全考虑。 Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, and on this day of the year, countless families will come together with their relatives and friends to discuss hot topics at the table where the food is good. But in order to ensure that this beautiful moment is not destroyed by quarrels or even shouting, please do not introduce sensitive and potentially controversial elements into it — — especially the mobile operating system’s team. Of course, unless you all have a clear iOS, Android, or BlackBerry, you may also use Windows Phone. You know, this is purely security considerations. ——我才不管Abby的超级计算机有什么千万亿次计算能力。总之，想买新电脑？别做梦了！ & mdash; & mdash; I don't care what millions of times Abby's supercomputer is capable of computing. Anyway, want to buy a new computer? Don't dream! 十一月二十一日——如今每个人都梦想着拥有千万亿次计算能力 这个礼拜与超级计算机相关的新闻如同浪潮一般向每个人席卷而来。其中最引人注目的当然是美国已经正式签订了两份构建全新超级计算机的相关合约，其目标是将超算能力提高到300千万亿次、从而将全球最强超级计算机的桂冠从中国手中抢夺回来。这方面的文章读得越多，我就愈发相信终有一天每个人手中都将拥有一台能够达到千万亿次级别的计算设备——如果大家跟我一样是个IT从业者、家里又正好有个处于青春期的小孩儿，肯定能明白我的感受…… This week's news related to supercomputer is like The wave of to everyone ; the most striking of the of ——嘿！ & mdash; & mdash; hey! ——呣……有史以来最古老的软件bug？不不不，这确实是最烦人的bug，但绝不是最古老的。 & mdash; & mdash; &helip; … and the oldest software bug ever? No, no, it's really the most annoying bug, but it's not the oldest. 十一月十四日——即使是杀毒软件也没法帮我们对付可怕的“曲别针” 就在本周早些时候，微软公司终于修复了一个服务器安全漏洞——事实上，该漏洞早在Windows 95时代开始就一路伴随我们同行。那么这是微软旗下历史最悠久或者说存在时间最长的bug吗？当然很有可能，不过尽管该漏洞确实相当严重，但我仍然不会将其称为微软历史上最糟糕的软件问题。这个响当当的名号应该属于上世纪九十年代的一项Windows“功能”。好在微软最终也把它——可怕的“曲别针”——给修复了。 Just earlier this week, Microsoft finally — — in fact, the gap has been with us since Windows 95; is it the longest history under the flag of Microsoft, or the longest existence of bugs? Of course, it is likely that, although it is serious, it will not be called the worst software problem in Microsoft history. ——亲爱的，看看我找到了什么——需要手动调时的机械钟。 & mdash; & mdash; darlin', look what I found & mdash; & mdash; machine clocks that need to be manually tuned. ——呃……真的么？！ & mdash; & mdash; uh & Hellip; & Hellip; Really? ——哇哦，妈妈那是个啥？ & mdash; & mdash; wow, what's that mom? 十一月七日——技术让爸爸们再无用武之地 曾几何时，其实就在不久之前，日光节约时间（即自美国东部时间11日凌晨2点起将时钟拨快1小时）都是我们这些当爸爸的（特别是那些通常没什么机会在家务工作中一展身手的爸爸们）证明自身价值的好机会——没错，咱们需要手动调时，让孩子们用崇敬的眼神仰望自己心中的英雄。然而就在上个礼拜我才突然发现，时至今日这样的好机会已经一去不复返了。感谢无处不在的技术，现在有线电视机顶盒、手机、恒温器乃至各种装置上都设有能够自行设置的时钟功能。哦，我真要庆幸屋里的烟感报警器偶尔还是需要换换电池的，否则我老婆真会把我赶出家门。 Once upon a time, but not long ago, daylight saved time (i.e., the clock was cut fast for an hour from 2 a.m. on 11 a.m. Eastern U.S. Time) was a good opportunity for us, as fathers (especially those who usually had little opportunity to show up in domestic work) to prove their worth & mdash; & mdash; it was true that we needed to hand-tune children to look at their heroes with respect. But it was only last week that I suddenly realized that a good opportunity like this had gone away. Thanks to the technology everywhere, there are now cable TV tops, cell phones, heaters, and all kinds of devices that have a clock function that we can set. Oh, I really appreciate that smoke alarms in the house occasionally need to change batteries, or my wife would actually throw me out of the house. ——爸爸，你这手艺真绝，不过我戴上它能看到在线视频吗？ & mdash; & mdash; Dad, you're a great handiwork, but can I see online video in it? #p# 十月三十一日——南瓜仍未被纳入物联网范畴 根据我的个人感受，目前几乎每一样东西都在想方设法挤进物联网范畴当中。似乎无论这种物件的固有功能是什么，只要我们没法通过它在Netflix或者YouTube上看视频、那它就变得一文不值——最典型的例子就是手机、游戏主机甚至是智能手表。说实在的，我觉得照这么发展下去，用不了多久我们就能戴着南瓜头看《纸牌屋》了。 According to my personal feelings, almost everything is trying to fit into the network. It seems that whatever the inherent function of this thing is, as long as we can't see video on Netflix or YouTube, it becomes worthless and — the most typical example is a mobile phone, a game host, or even a smart watch. ——好吧先生，咱们这次就用现金付账吧，行不？ & mdash; & mdash; okay, sir, let's pay in cash this time, okay? 十月二十四日——Apple Pay就此全面上线！ Apple Pay已经于本周正式发布，而且在意料之中的是、其起步阶段尚称不上一帆风顺。当然，在推动一类新机制时、技术故障的出现可谓不可避免，特别是在发展初期。当然，这其中也掺杂着一些人为因素，人们——特别是在千禧年代出生的年轻群体——突然发现自己需要接纳一种前所未见的新型支付方式。由此带来的混乱自然可以预见。 Apple Pay has been officially released this week and is expected to start with , which, of course, is inevitable in promoting a new type of mechanism, especially in the early stages of development. There are, of course, a number of factors, — — especially for young people born in the Millennium years & mdash; — sudden discovery of the need to accommodate a new form of payment not previously seen. ——请说出我刚刚经短信发给你的六位数字验证码以核实你的身份，核实无误后我们即可开始相亲。另外，我还需要你提供我们要去的餐厅在点评网站上的得分。 & mdash; & mdash; please state that I just texted you a six-digit identification code to verify your identity, and then we can start seeing each other. Also, I need you to provide the points we're going to get from the restaurant on the dotting site. 十月十七日——爱情的第一步是……验证 就在不久之前，那时候我所收到的短信还大部分是由家人或者亲戚朋友发来的。然而时至今日，我手机里的多数短信已经变成了验证服务，这些发来的数字能够帮助我在某些网站或者应用程序当中核实真实身份与声明身份是否一致。随着越来越多网络数据泄露（或者是其它一些所谓的泄露事件）频频见诸报端，我开始尽可能多地坚持使用双因素认证机制。这类状况什么时候才是个头儿？我不知道，但我很庆幸自己已经结过婚了。 Just a few days ago, most of the text messages I received were sent by family members or relatives. Today, however, most of the text messages on my cell phone have been turned into authentication services, and these numbers have helped me verify that the true identity is consistent with the declaration of identity on some websites or applications. As more and more Internet data are leaking (or
色情陶器店：未成年人请勿进入 Porn pottery: No access for minors ——太棒了！我等不及要看看Facebook上的附近店铺广告里会有哪些刺激的内容！ & mdash; & mdash; great! I can't wait to see what's in the ads in the shop nearby on Facebook! 十月十日——Facebook变得愈发下作 这一状况来自Facebook再度对我们个人隐私的无礼侵犯——没错，又是Facebook。看起来扎克伯格正在密谋推出一项新的功能，允许当地商家向接近其所在位置的用户发送广告内容。因此，请大家下一次经过红灯区的时候小心一点——或者至少从安全角度考虑，把移动设备上的定位服务暂时送掉。当然，各位也可以选择彻底远离这些污秽的场所，总之别给自己找麻烦。 This situation stems from the fact that Facebook has once again violated our personal privacy & mdash; & mdash; and, yes, Facebook. It appears that Zuckerberg is conspiring to introduce a new feature that allows local businesses to send advertising content to users close to their locations. Therefore, please be careful when next passes the red light zone & mdash; & mdash; or, at least from a security perspective, to temporarily remove positioning services on mobile devices. ——爸爸快看～我折了只鹤送给你！ & mdash; & mdash; Daddy, look! I broke a crane for you! ——救命啊！我的iPhone 6 Plus不见啦？！有人看着没？ & mdash; & mdash; help! Is my iPhone 6 Plus missing? Is anyone watching? 十月三日——小孩一折，iPhone就弯 时至今日，很多朋友对“弯曲门”这儿已经不再陌生——实际上，这种现象正是发生在苹果新推出的大尺寸iPhone 6 Plus身上。用户发现这款机型特别容易在日常生活中被不慎搞弯。尽管这已经是几个礼拜之前的旧闻了，但仍有不少媒体喜欢把它拎出来一提再提。我本人还没买iPhone 6 Plus（我目前继续坚持使用自己的5S），所以对这类消息不怎么关注。不过如果我真有一台，肯定会尽量当心、别把它混在孩子们的手工和艺术创作品里头。小心使得万年船嘛。 To date, many friends are not familiar with & & mdash; — — in fact, this is happening on the iPhone 6 Plus, the new size of Apple. Users find this machine particularly prone to being misled in everyday life. Although it is an old story a few weeks ago, there are a lot of media who like to bring it up again. I haven't bought the iPhone 6 Plus (I continue to use my own 5S now), so I don't care much about this kind of information. But if I had one, I would certainly try not to mix it with children's handicrafts and art. ——我天，他们又找着不少流氓手机信号发射塔。 & mdash; & mdash; my God, they're looking for a lot of hooligan cell towers. ——你弄的这棵树看着有点儿怪啊？！ & mdash; & mdash; you look a little weird with this tree? #p# 九月二十六日——潜藏在灌木丛中的安全威胁 这个礼拜的新闻实在有点古怪，甚至称得上不可思议：华盛顿特区的安全手机制造商们发现了十八座流氓手机信号塔，这些无主的装置能够拦截用户的手机信号。但事情并没有就此打住，人们很快在美国的其它地区发现了另外十七座流氓信号塔。出于某种原因，技术领域之外的人士似乎并不太关注上述消息，但我个人对此深感惊恐、而且很好奇还有多少尚未被发现的同类装置。谁知道下一次被查明的恶意拦截活动发生在谁家附近呢？为了安全起见，我想自己会坚持使用固话业务——短时间内不动摇。 This week's news is a bit strange and even surprising: 18 hooligan cell phone signal towers , which can intercept the user's cell phone signals. But this has not stopped. , which, for some reason, is quickly discovered in other parts of the United States. ——歹势！我发现太空出租确实不是啥好主意。 & mdash; & mdash; I'm sorry! I found that space rental wasn't really a good idea. 九月十九日——打造太空出租车确实是说着容易做起来难 本周美国宇航局传出大新闻，宣称其已经与波音及SpaceX签订了总金额接近70亿美元的多份合约，从而建立并运行“太空出租”项目、旨在运送美国宇航员往返于国际空间站和地球之间。作为对于宇航科技高度关注的拥护者，在我看来这绝对是个天大的好消息。该项目的出现意味着我们用不着再向俄罗斯购买火箭客票，即可在地球与空间站之间随意往来。不过平心而论，“出租”这样的字眼也让该项目在我的心中减分不少，因为这勾起了我脑海里狭窄、脏乱以及危险等其它负面印象。不过总体而言，我相信宇航局方面能够解决好这些老大难问题。 This week, NASA announced that it had entered into with Boeing and SpaceX, so that
——……如果大家打算把自己的iPhone 6 Plus装进裤兜儿里，请火速购买我们新鲜出炉的大口袋“苹果长裤”！ & mdash; — &helip; … & if you want to put your iPhone 6 Plus in your pants, please buy the big pockets & ldquao; apple pants & rdquao; 九月十二日——苹果成为李维斯牛仔裤的新威胁 如大家所知，苹果公司于本周最终发售的iPhone 6确实采用了各位睽违已久的4.7英寸大屏幕设计方案。如果对于这样的尺寸还不满意，苹果方面此外公布的iPhone 6 Plus则配备了惊人的5.5英寸超大屏幕。鉴于大家似乎都希望兴高采烈地揣着新iPhone跑出去跟朋友们炫耀一番，我认为苹果实在是错过了商机——他们本应该进一步发售周边产品，推出配有超大裤袋设计、足以容纳新一代iPhone的外裤。从固有印象出发，苹果不太可能忽视这样一个赚钱的大好机会。不管怎么说，我相信这类产品肯定能够带来不错的收益。 As you know, Apple did use iPhone 6 ——就这样——我们结束了！只要我用Uber叫来的专车一到，我就立刻去机场、再也不见你这混球！ & mdash; & mdash; & mdash; — we're done! As soon as I get the car from Uber, I'll go to the airport and I'll never see you again! ——再等等，亲爱的——我从Uber那儿收到一条请求，让我送一位乘客去机场…… & mdash; & mdash; et cetera, dear & mdash; & mdash; I received a request from Uber for a passenger to be taken to the airport & Hellip; and & Hellip; 九月五日——分手让Uber遭遇尴尬 September 5th; & mdash; breakup embarrassed Uber 正如常言常大哥所说，分手没那么容易。然而时至今日，分手的难度又出现了进一步提升，这全拜互联网、社交媒体以及其它类似技术所赐——当下我们真的很难把前任伴侣彻底排除出自己的生活。而目前风头正盛的Uber等服务也让感情破裂的双方遭遇更多尴尬局面。唉，遥想十年之前，分手还不就是一阵哭闹和几个耳光的事儿——生活真是越来越复杂～ But today, the difficulty of breaking up has increased, thanks to services such as the Internet, social media, and other similar technologies & mdash; and it's really hard for us to exclude our ex-partners from our lives at this time. And now the popular Uber has caused more embarrassment on both sides of the relationship. ——工程师先生，我其实更喜欢“送餐即服务”这种说法。 & mdash; & mdash; Mr. Engineer, I actually prefer & ldquao; serving & rdquao; that is. #p# 八月二十九日——不要再叫他们“送餐小子”了 不知道单止我一个、还是大家都这么想，但我确实觉得最近一段时间“即服务”的说法实在有点泛滥。归功于云计算的全面铺开，我们已经逐渐开始习惯了软件即服务（简称SaaS）、基础设施即服务（简称IaaS）以及平台即服务（简称PaaS）的说法。这一切确实值得称道，但新的“即服务”式服务开始像雨后春笋一般不断涌现。就在本周早些时候，我在阅读文章时发现了后端即服务（简称BaaS）的说法，至少对我来讲这可是新鲜事儿。除此之外，我还发现了其它众多云服务类型，其中包括网络即服务（简称NaaS）、监控即服务以及通信即服务（简称CaaS）。这种状况什么时候才是个头儿？恐怕没人知道答案。 I don't know whether or not I have one or all of them, but I do think that the recent & & ldquo; & & & & edquo. Thanks to the full roll-out of cloud computing, we have gradually begun to get used to
——好了，现在请转头、咳嗽一声并告诉我您母亲的婚前姓氏。 & mdash; & mdash; now turn your head, cough and tell me your mother's maiden name. 八月二十二日——转头、咳嗽然后进行身份验证 据我们本周刚刚得到的消息，来自中国的黑客们刚刚从社区健康系统当中盗走了450万份病例信息，而这还只是2014年年内美国医疗机构所遭遇的众多数据被盗（或者丢失）事件当中的一起。为什么黑客们对于普通民众的个人医疗数据这么感兴趣？有一种理论认为，目前存在着专门交易此类信息的市场，大概除了医疗保险机构之外、没有其他人能通过识别病人身份来获利了。没人知道上述说法是否属实，不过为了保险起见，医疗工作者们应当着力检查交流对象的真实身份。反正这是个充满危机的时代，谨慎一点不是坏事。 According to the information we have just received this week, , and this is just . Why do hackers have such interest in the personal medical data of the ordinary people as they are interested in that have no knowledge of the existence of this type of information? ——你们上高中那会看起来可真蠢！ & mdash; & mdash; you'd look stupid in high school! ——谁允许马克伯格偷翻我们老相册的？ & mdash; & mdash; who allowed Markberg to sneak through our old albums? ——很明显是我……只要装了Facebook Messenger应用，早晚得出事。 & mdash; & mdash; obviously it's me & Hellip; & Hellip; sooner or later, as long as Facebook Messenge application is installed. 八月十五日——Facebook Messenger比我们想象中的更具侵入性 好像每过一、两个月，Facebook就会跳出来发布一大堆服务条款（貌似条款）并在互联网上掀起一波风浪——这种趋势最近正变得愈发频繁。最新的实例就是围绕Facebook Messenger这一全新应用程序引发的应用协议混乱。有些人很快将其卸载甚至干脆拒绝加以安装，这是因为这款应用能够获取到用户的全部信息——包括照片、联系人、短信以及位置信息等等。不过大多数群众仍然情绪稳定，认为其实这也惹不出多大麻烦、过分担忧纯属庸人自扰。我个人就更偏向于后面这种处理方式，反正我仍然能从Facebook以及Hooded One当中找到乐子。 It seems that every one or two months, Facebook pops up and issues a whole bunch of service provisions (like provisions) & mdash; — — these trends are becoming more frequent recently. The most recent example is around , a new application that has caused confusion on the Internet. Some people quickly unloaded ——是的，我敢肯定咱家姑娘不小心丢掉的牙套没有配套应用。赶紧进来帮我们一块儿找吧！ & & mdash; & mdash; yes, I'm sure our girl's accidentally thrown toothcases have no matching applications. Come on in and help us find them! 八月八日——不，没有可用的配套应用 8 August 最近一段时间以来，我们日常完成的每一项活动几乎都有一款应用与之对应。至少我个人的感受是这样。不过正如上面这幅漫画所言，仍有一些事情是应用程序没法替我们完成的，例如在我女儿把牙套落在餐厅里、而后又被服务员扔进垃圾箱后，帮我们将其找到。长话短说，我真的钻进那铁皮箱子翻了好一阵子，但遗憾的是仍然一无所获。也许就此开发出的应用程序真能防患于未然，帮助她在下次弄丢东西之前及时意识到问题？我期待着事态的发展…… There's almost one application for every activity that we've been doing on a daily basis in recent times. At least that's what I feel. But, as the cartoon above says, there are still things that applications can't do for us, for example, when my daughter left her toothcases in the restaurant and the waiter threw them in the garbage bin to help us find them. For a long time, I've really been in that tin box for a while, but unfortunately nothing has been done. ——你管这堆垃圾叫两面煎过的溏心蛋？ & mdash; & mdash; you call this garbage two-faced eccentric eggs? ——Linus Torvalds骂啥，咱就点啥。 & mdash; & mdash; Linus Torvalds, we'll order. #p# 七月三十一日——Linus Toravlds一开骂，群众们就激动 本周技术界的轻松时刻来自前无古人、也很可能后无来者的Linus Torvalds，这位Linux与Git的传奇缔造者同时也是一位技艺精湛却又口不择言的巨喷。作为一个从不吝惜自己的口水与极端情绪的人，Torvalds在最近发布的GCC编译器当中发现了一个bug。尽管他在该bug的正式报告中作出了非常专业的评述，但他个人写给Linux内核收件名单内各成员的邮件就实在是有些……呃，随意——或者叫“成人化”。跟大家的固有印象一样，Torvalds对于出现在他技术世界中的任何一个小差错都不会吝惜怒火与咆哮。我们只能通过想象来猜度他在真实生活中会以怎样丧心病狂的方式对待此类问题。 This week's easy moments in the technocratic community come from Linus Torvalds, a former, possibly later, founder of Linux and Git, who is also a skilled, yet unspoken, giant sprayer 
——我知道今天是系统管理员节，但这也太夸张了吧。
& mdash; & mdash; I know it's System Administrator's Day, but it's too much.
——感谢您为我们做的一切，陛下。
& mdash; & mdash; thank you for everything you've done for us, Your Majesty.
——您看这些香料放在哪儿合适啊？
& mdash; & mdash; where do you think these spices fit?
七月二十五日——在系统管理员节这天，请对他们好一点
25 July
系统管理员节快乐！请大家面对现实，系统管理员就是我们办公室中的超级英雄，没有他们日常工作根本没办法正常开展。当然，这一天我们必须花点时间表现自己的爱心，让那些保障网络与电子邮件服务器正常运行、计算机与打印设备顺畅起效的最可爱的人们感到温暖。如果大家有向他们赠送礼物的念头，不妨点击此处获取一点灵感; 当然大家也可以写一首诗（或者叙事性的舞蹈）来表达自己的感恩情绪。不过事情太过火了终归不好，所以请各位尽量控制好自己的状态。
We must, of course, take some time to show our love and warm up to the cutest people who keep the network and the e-mail server running properly, and whose computers and printing devices work smoothly. If you have any idea of giving them a gift, you may wish to write a poem ; of course, you can also say
——Comcast从不接受否定答案。 & mdash; — Comcast never accepted the negative answer. 七月十八日——Comcast公司就是舍不得让你走 当大家发现某些固网公司的客户服务已经糟糕到无以复加时，别忘了读读本周技术专栏记者Ryan Block在尝试退订Comcast服务时遭遇的真实状况。原本应该只是一次短暂通话就能简单搞定的问题最终变成了一场惨烈而痛苦的拉锯式分手。当Block与某位客户服务代表进行沟通时，对方说什么也不能接受前者提出的否定性答案。幸运的是，Block记录下了大部分通话内容，感兴趣的朋友可以自行收听。这位代表最终还是帮助Block退订了固网服务，不过即使Comcast方面派人在Block家的车道上以《情到深处》中约翰 库萨克的造型大表忠心，我也丝毫不会感到惊讶。 When it turns out that some of the firm's clients' services are already in a state of discomfort, don't forget to read . The question that should have been simply solved in a brief conversation eventually turned into a bitter and painful Racaw break-up. ——是的，他必须跟咱们一同起餐，因为这顿饭是众筹来的。 & mdash; & mdash; yes, he must eat with us, because this meal is prepared by everyone. ——吃完饭后，你们俩谁负责给我做个足底按摩？ & mdash; & mdash; after dinner, which one of you is responsible for giving me a foot massage? 七月十一日——众筹开始失去吸引力 这条消息几乎没受到什么阻力就顺利登上了我个人的本周最爱技术新闻榜：有个家伙凭借着制作土豆沙拉在Kickstarter上成功筹到了四万美元（截至目前）。如果有人之前曾经怀疑众筹这种作法已经开始变得有些失控，那么在这一事件后我得说众筹机制恐怕已经遭到淘汰。而且关于这条消息，我最喜欢的部分其实是发起者那充满幽默感的想法：只要抢先出力资助，大家就有资格尝一口其亲手制作其刚刚出炉的土豆沙拉。现在美食的大门已经正式开启，我很好奇还会有哪些牛鬼蛇神在众筹领域不断涌现——也请大家抱着娱乐的心态加以关注。 This news came to my personal favorite technology list this week with little resistance: , with the production of potato salads that successfully raised $40,000 on KickStarter (as of now)
——怎么样，小子，你们之前见过如此精彩的烟花表演吗？ & mdash; & mdash; how's it going, kid? Have you ever seen a fireworks show like this before? ——我觉得还是没有上回你在老妈的iPhone上升级操作系统来得精彩。 & mdash; & mdash; I think you're still not as good at upgrading your operating system on Mom's iPhone. 七月三日——家中的IT小能手燃起自己的“烟花” 3 July 明天就是七月四号独立日，也就是说美国各个州府的普通民众都将欣赏到美轮美奂的烟花表演。其实我个人对烟花这东西不是太感兴趣（打呵欠），而且平心而论，波士顿这边的烟花表演再怎么精彩玄幻、也比不上我在搞砸家庭IT支持工作时引发的热烈气氛。当时我正在女儿的iPhone 4s上进行iOS系统更新，结果屏幕中的显示内容突然发生了扭曲。抓狂之余，我花了一整晚继续鼓捣这台小设备，希望帮她把照片和联系人信息恢复过来。这次事故让我深刻体会到及时备份的重要性甚至是必要性。 Tomorrow is the fourth day of independence, which means that ordinary people in every state capital of the United States will enjoy the fireworks. In fact, I am not personally interested in the fireworks, and, to be fair, I am not as much interested as I am in helping her to get the photos and contact information back. ——好吧，我已经道过歉也帮你洗过车了。现在能不能让我重回有线电视怀抱？ & mdash; & mdash; well, I apologized and washed your car. Now can I get back to cable TV? ——再给我来一杯，看心情啦～ & mdash; & mdash; give me another drink. 七月二十七日——准备下跪吧，你们这帮叛徒 美国最高法院于本周作出一多项关于重大技术方案的裁定。其中之一在于认定警方必须在取得搜查令后才能对个人手机加以查看。除此之外，另一项关注度较低的裁定是判决Aereo TV服务违背了著作权法。这相当于给Aereo以及与之类似的服务宣判了死刑，这很可能意味着部分用户将重新回归有线电视怀抱。当然，我相信有线电视公司将以热情的怀抱欢迎这些迷途知返的浪子。 The U.S. Supreme Court issued a number of decisions on major technological programs this week. One of the lower concerns was the finding that . In addition, another finding was that . This would amount to a death sentence for Aero and similar services, which would probably mean that some users would return to cable television. ——嘿，刚才你是不是偷瞄那家伙来着？！ & mdash; & mdash; hey, were you looking at that guy? ——没有！我发誓！ & mdash; & mdash; no! I swear! ——她就是有！ & mdash; & mdash; she did! 七月十九日——当心！Fire手机知道你的目光落在何处 July 19th; >mdash; >mdash; beware! Fire phone knows where your eyes are. 本周Amazon公司最终公布了其宣传已久的智能手机产品，Fire。这款手机具备所谓Dynamic Perspective功能，这套头部追踪系统利用位于手机正面四角位置的四个前置摄像头掌握用户的实时动向。利用这些摄像头，该手机能够随时了解用户的头部正转向何处。 This week Amazon finally released its long-publicized smartphone product , Fire. The mobile phone has a so-called Dynamic Perspective function, and the head tracking system captures the user's movement in real time using four front cameras located at the four corners of the front. With these cameras, the mobile phone can readily understand where the user's head is turning. Fire手机利用这项技术动态判断用户目前正在查看手机上的哪个位置（包括图片、地图等等）。听起来很妙，不过对我这种习惯于抱持悲观态度的家伙来说，脑子里首先浮现的就是这项技术有可能被用于某些负面用途。当然，我这可能仅仅是杞人忧天，对吧？ Fire's mobile phone uses this technology to judge which location (including pictures, maps, etc.) the user is currently looking at. It sounds good, but for me, , the first thing that comes out of my mind is that this technology may be used for certain negative purposes. Of course, I may be just a worry, right? 您的视频内容载入过慢，这是因为VERIZON就是一堆垃圾。 Your video content is too slow because VERIZON is a pile of garbage. ——说实在的，这段提示信息比大部分Netflix视频都好看。 & mdash; & mdash; Actually, this reminder is better than most Netflix videos. 七月十三日——Netflix与Verizon的纷争开始持续升温 Netflix与Verizon双方之间的纷争开始快速升温！首先，Netflix方面向其采用Verizon网络服务的用户强调称，Verizon的流媒体传输质量可谓一塌糊涂。在此之后，Verizon则拿起法律武器予以反击，威胁称如果不撤下相关提示内容就要将对方告上法庭。Netflix对此（基本上）表示爱咋咋的。作为在服务中几乎找不到什么优秀流媒体内容的Netflix客户（我还没看〈女子监狱〉这剧，所以除此之外真的没啥值得收看的了），我必须得说接下来的事态实在比视频本身更具娱乐性！我已经迫不及待想看看这两家以后还会曝出哪些有趣的言论。 First, the users of Netflix who used Verizon's web service stressed that Verizon's stream of media transmission quality is a mess . After that, Verizon took up his legal weapon and threatened to take away the content of the tips >. ——这是你的个人医生——只要你再多吃一份馅饼，它就会收到警报。 & mdash; & mdash; this is your personal doctor & mdash; & mdash; as long as you eat one more piece of pie, it will be alerted. 七月六日——苹果HealthKit将彻底夺走享受甜点的乐趣 July 6th 本周苹果公司召开了其一年一度的全球开发者大会（简称WWDC）。无论大家认为苹果仍在不断创新还是满足于原地踏步，此次盛会都一如既往地成为全世界关注的焦点以及新闻报导的核心。作为一大重头戏，苹果方面隆重推出了HealthKit，iOS 8将在其帮助下更轻松地允许应用程序共享到与用户个人相关的健康数据。HealthKit还允许应用程序将用户的健康与健身数据与医护供应方加以共享。 Apple continues to innovate 跟往常一样，我首先想到的是“这真的能算一件好事儿吗？”而转念再想，我的观点更加坚定——呃，恐怕不是好事儿。 As usual, the first thing I think of is & & & quo; is that really a good thing? & & rdquao; and, to think about it again, my point of view is more firm & & mdash; & mdash; uh, it's not good. 好消息是iOS 8直到2014年年末才会全面上线，因此就目前来说，大家还是能够偷偷多吃点小零食的。 The good news is that iOS 8 will not be fully online until late 2014, so for the time being, you can still steal more snacks. 1989年的教育方式： Educational methods in 1989: ——爸，给我一块钱呗，我还带子的时候能得账结清。 & mdash; & mdash; Dad, just give me a dollar, and I'll have it settled when I bring it back. ——又来这套？！ & mdash; & mdash; again? 2014年的教育方式： Educational methods in 2014: ——爸，给我一百块钱呗，我得把手机上的勒索软件账单付清。 & mdash; & mdash; Dad, give me a hundred bucks, I have to pay off the blackmail software bill on my phone. ——又来这套？！ & mdash; & mdash; again? #p# 五月三十日——勒索软件支付吞噬你的零用钱 本周有报道称澳大利亚的一部分iOS产品用户遭遇勒索软件锁定设备的状况。接到消息后，我的第一反应是采取适当的措施来确保自己的iPhone不会中招，而后又马上提醒自己的女儿对手机加以严格保护。想当初我还是个小青年的时候，我的父母根本用不着担心这类横空出现的突发性电子产品支出。唉，八十年代的那些父母真是活得又轻松又自在。 This week, it has been reported that user of Australia's iOS product was in a state of blackmail software locking equipment . My first response was to take appropriate measures to ensure that my iPhone would not fall into play, and then to remind my daughter of strict protection of mobile phones. ——这台智能烤炉好像有点太智能了。它根本就不让我上手。 & mdash; & mdash; this smart oven seems a little too smart. It doesn't even let me do it. ——他打算做饭了……危险！赶快报警！ & mdash; & mdash; he's going to cook &helip; … danger! Call the police! 五月二十三日——智能烤炉？还是自作聪明的烤炉？ 阵亡将士纪念日即将到来，此外夏季烧烤的热潮也呈现出蓄势待发的气象。烧烤是我最爱的户外活动之一——开瓶啤酒，点起烤炉为自己和家人烹制一顿美味的大餐，实在是人生乐事。当然，有时候我也会把饭煮焦或者是燎着头发，但相对于无尽的享受、谁又在乎这一点小插曲呢？总而言之，站在火炉边翻动汉堡肉、热狗和鸡排总能让人心旷神怡。 The Day of the Dead is about to come, and the hot tides of the summer barbecues are about to rise. Barbecues are one of my favorite outdoors, and — and it is a pleasure to open a beer and light a oven to cook a delicious meal for myself and his family. Of course, sometimes I also boil my meals or my hair, but who cares about it in relation to endless enjoyment? 正因为如此，最近公布的智能烤炉技术让我产生了一丝不快。我根本没法想象要由自己的烤炉来决定食物什么时候已经烹饪完毕——那还要我有什么用？在烹饪器材方面，我还是宁愿选择傻瓜式的传统方案。 And that's why the recently published /a> made me unhappy. I can't imagine having my own oven decide when the food will be cooked & mdash; & mdash; what more can I do? In cooking equipment, I prefer traditional options like fools. ——等等，怎么又要开这种会啊？ & mdash; & mdash; et cetera, how can this kind of meeting take place again? ——这是为了再次更新我们的隐私保护政策。你不记得了吗，扎克伯格先生？ & mdash; & mdash; this is to update our privacy policy again. Don't you remember, Mr. Zuckerberg? ——喂，他已经年过三十，记性不太好了。 & mdash; & mdash; hello, he's over 30 years old and has a poor memory. 五月十六日——马克 扎克伯格迎来新的人生里程碑 May 16th 这一次的大新闻是，上周三Facebook公司创始人兼CEO马克 扎克伯格迎来了自己的三十岁生日！真的很难相信，对吧？当然，三十岁从任何角度、层面或者出发点来讲都不能算老（我都已经四十四了，还不服老呢）。不过到了三十岁，很多人的发际线已经开始出现上移的迹象，肠胃也不像年轻时那么强健，偶尔还会忘记自己为什么要走进某个房间或者为什么要出席公司的律师会议。 The big news is that last Wednesday's Facebook founder and CEO Mark Zackberg has come to his 30th birthday ! It's hard to believe, right? Of course, 30 years old isn't old from any angle, dimension or starting point (I'm already 44 years old). But by the age of 30, many people's hairlines are beginning to show signs of upward movement, and their stomachs are not as strong as young as they were, and sometimes forget why they entered a room or why they attended the company's lawyers meeting. ——妈妈，母亲节快乐！看我给你准备的礼物——安全性更高的密码！ & mdash; & mdash; mom, happy Mother's Day! Look at the gifts I have prepared for you & mdash; & mdash; more secure passwords! 五月九日——这个母亲节，让妈妈更安心 May 9, 大家可能已经知道了，这个礼拜天就是神圣的母亲节。如果各位还没想好应该在这重要的日子给自己的妈妈或者妻子送上怎样的礼物，那么刚刚过去的世界密码日也许能带来一点启示——没错，礼物就是让她们的网络生活更安全。母亲总会对孩子奉上的任何礼物感到由衷愉悦，所以大胆献出自己精心准备的高强度密码吧——反正又不会挨揍。 As you may already know, this Sunday is a sacred Mother's Day. If you haven't figured out what kind of gift should be given to your mother or wife on this important day, then may bring a little bit of inspiration & mdash; & mdash; yes, it is safer for them to live online. Mothers will always be happy with any gift they give, so give their carefully prepared high-intensity passwords & mdash; & mdash; anyway, they will not be beaten. ——好消息：我们找到了被深埋已久的雅达利E.T.游戏卡带。坏消息是：我们还找到了点别的…… & mdash; & mdash; good news: We found the long-sown Yadali E.T. game tape. The bad news is: We found something else; and & Hellip; ——万恶曲别针：我是免费的哟～ & mdash; & mdash; Marx: I'm free. 五月二日——这就是曲别针应有的命运 本周从新墨西哥州传出了趣闻，来自微软Xbox部门与一家电影公司的伙计们在这里挖出了当初未被售出且埋藏已久E.T.雅达利2600游戏卡带。这些卡带以及其它一些未能售出的雅达利设备——包括其它游戏卡带与游戏硬件——于1983年该游戏销量大暴死之后就一直葬身于阿拉莫戈多的垃圾填埋场中。 This week, interesting news came from New Mexico, where . These tapes, along with some other unsold Yadali equipment & mdash; & mdash; other games and games hardware & mdash; & mdash; they were buried in the Alamogo landfill following the 1983 crash. 整个过程让我想到，技术领域应该还有其它一些臭名昭著并被遗忘在垃圾场中的产物等着被发现。有趣的是，看到人们手持E.T.游戏卡的画面，我首先想到的就是那个万恶的曲别针形象——没错，它也应该一同被扔进历史的废弃仓库。 The whole process reminds me that there should be other infamous and forgotten products in the field of technology waiting to be discovered. Interestingly, seeing people holding the E.T. card, I think first of all about the macabre pin image & mdash; & mdash; yes, it should be thrown together in the abandoned warehouse of history. ——我也觉得Heartbleed漏洞确实挺严重，但闹成现在这样是不是有点大惊小怪了？ & mdash; & mdash; & I think Heartbleed's hole is quite serious, but isn't it a bit of a fussy? #p# 四月十八日——说起Heartbleed，我们如何小心都不为过 April 18th 好吧，这个礼拜我再次被铺天盖地的Heartbleed相关报道所淹没，我本人也不得不努力弄清楚自己到底需要对哪些密码内容作出修改。为了进一步提高安全性，我还更换了家中的锁头、在星巴克中常喝的饮料种类甚至在考虑是否应该再搞点其它安全防范措施。不再纠结于安全本身，至少小心点总比出事了才后悔好些，对吗？ Well, once again this week, I was flooded with reports of Heartbleed, and I myself had to try to figure out what code changes 
——jueFD8iq7j开门！
& mdash; & mdash; jue FD8iq7j open!
四月十一日——阿里巴巴与未加密密码
不知道大家有何感受，但这个礼拜我有很大一部分时间都在接受Hearbleed OpenSSL漏洞的狂轰滥炸，并试图弄明白自己在哪些站点上的哪些密码可能存在泄露风险、且需尽快加以更改。这件事让我想起了阿里巴巴与四十大盗的故事，这也许是世界范围内知名度最高的密码泄露案例了。想象一下，如果四十大盗能够早点使用随机密码生成器这样的保护机制，阿里巴巴那小子哪会如此猖狂！
I don't know how you feel, but I've been taking a lot of time this week to accept Hearbleed OpenSSL gap and to try to figure out which passwords on which sites I might be exposed to and need to be changed as soon as possible. This reminds me of the story of
——在我们为了轻松观看电视节目而购买这些流媒体设备之前，看电视是件多么轻松的事儿啊～ & mdash; & mdash; how easy it is to watch television before we buy these streaming media equipments for easy viewing. 四月四日——流媒体设备蹬鼻子上脸 这个礼拜Amazon公布了全新机顶盒流媒体设备，Fire TV。与大多数朋友一样，听到这条消息后我的第一反应是“为什么？”看起来目前市面上已经存在一大堆类似的产品，包括Apple TV、Roku、Chromecast、Xbox以及PlayStation，它们都想把自己的流媒体内容塞进用户的电视。市场真能容得下又一款流媒体产品吗？电视台都在干啥，坐以待毙吗？ This week, Amazon published , Fire TV. Like most friends, my first reaction to this news is “ why? & ” there appears to be a whole range of similar products on the market, including Apple TV, Roku, Choramecast, Xbox-gaming-capabilites. 如果你觉得Facebook以往的隐私政策太过可怕，先别着急——看了3D版的再下结论。 If you think Facebook's previous privacy policy is too scary, don't rush to — — read 3D before concluding. #p# 三月二十八日——Facebook围绕Oculus Rift制定出更加恐怖的发展规划 March 28th 很明显，本周最吸引眼球的新闻之一又与马克 扎克伯格这厮有关。他再次从胯下掏出支票簿，豪掷20亿美元收购了Oculus VR公司——其开发出的Oculus Rift虚拟现实头载装置已经在全球范围内引发热潮。尽管这款头载装置最初是为游戏玩家所打造，但Facebook最终可能将其纳入其它发展规划当中。想象一下，能够以3D方式查看Facebook的服务条款或者隐私政策信息、而不再被牢牢束缚在传统平面之上，简直赞！ Obviously, one of the most attractive stories this week is related to Mark Zuckerberg's acquisition of Oculus VR 
——我身上有样物事可是靠Android系统支持的，姑娘们，猜猜是啥？
& mdash; & mdash; I have something on me that's supported by the Android system, girls. Guess what?
三月二十一日——Android Wear将让事情变得更加糟糕
March 21st
就在本周，谷歌公司发布了其Android Wear操作系统，旨在将Android系统拓展到可穿戴式设备领域。基于Android的智能手表作为尖刀班首先亮相，但在此之后谁知道又会冒出哪些牛鬼神蛇？我想只有天空——或者说设备制造商以及Android Wear开发者们的想象力——才是束缚其发展的惟一限制。
我不知道该对此作何感想。一方面，这条消息确实令人备感兴奋。但另一方面，事情恐怕会变得更加诡异。总之，时～间～会给我答案……
I don't know what to think about it. On the one hand, the news is really exciting. On the other hand, it's going to get weirder. In any case, sometimes it's going to give me answers.
欢迎来到CERN（即欧洲核子研究委员会）
Welcome to CERN.
“万维网”
& ldquao; World Wide Web & rdquao;
——我没弄明白，我能用这个共享我家小猫的视频吗？
& mdash; & mdash; I don't understand. Can I share my cat video with this?
三月十四日——时间浪费者的老祖宗，生日快乐！
刚刚过去的星期三是个值得纪念的日子：就在二十五年前的同一天，即1989年3月12日，Tiim Berners-Lee在CERN用于同事间文档共享的方案最终演变成了后来的万维网。当然，在那个时候他并没有将其称为万维网（我在漫画中使用了这一名称，但艺术加工请勿当真）。他当时为其定名为“Mesh”，是一套“全局超链接系统”。时至今日，我们会简单将其称为网，我个人则更倾向于叫它“全局超-时间浪费系统。”
The last Wednesday was a memorable day: on the same day, 12 March 1989, twenty-five years ago, Tiim Berners-Lee was assigned the name & ldquo; Mesh” a & ldquo; a global hyperlink system & rdqua; and today we will call it simply the Web, and I personally prefer it & ldquo; and a global super-time waste system.
三月：来得像史蒂夫 鲍尔默……去得像蒂姆 库克。
March: come like Steve Balmer & Hellip; & Hellip; go like Tim Cook.
——开发者！开发者！
& mdash; & mdash; Developer! Developer!
——嘿，邻居们！
& mdash; & mdash; hey, neighbors!
三月七日——三月如一场技术暴风雨般轰鸣而至
又是一年春来到，这次的三月同样宣告着漫长严冬的离去。俗语有云三月是个来如雄狮、去若绵羊的矛盾月份。今年，我觉得是时候说点不一样的话题了，例如技术大会以及两位在人格方面互为极端的业界领军人物——事实上提起三月，我脑子里首先跳出的就是他们的形象。
The spring of the year came again, and the month of March also declared the departure of a long and harsh winter. The popular word for March was , the contradictory month of lions and sheep . This year, I think it is time to talk about different topics, such as the Technical Assembly and two of the world's leaders who are extreme in terms of their personality & mdash; and, in fact, in March, it was their image that was the first thing that came out of my mind.
有趣的是，尽管蒂姆 库克一直保持着温和亲切的形象，但他在苹果最近几次股东会议上却表现出了难得一见的强势。因此，也许固有的印象并不一定完全准确。但大家明白我的意思就好。
Interestingly, although Tim Cook has maintained a gentle image of , he has shown a rare at the recent meetings of Apple shareholders. The impression may therefore not always be entirely accurate.
——你知道把电脑埋了也不会提高里头比特币的安全水平，对吧？
& mdash; & mdash; you know that burying a computer doesn't improve the safety of bitcoin inside, right?
#p#
二月二十八日——把你的比特币藏在床底下，并祝自己好运吧
February 28th
两个看似无关的大事件打破了本周的宁静。首先，全球最大比特币交易平台、东京Mt. Gox终于坦白，承认迄今为止已经有价值数亿美元的这一数字货币宣告丢失。接下来是加利福尼亚州的一对夫妇发现了一堆十九世纪美国铸造的金币，其市场估价高达1000万美元——这些宝贝就存放在他们居住地下的罐子当中。
First, >.
后面这个故事让我不禁想到，比特币这样既没办法捧在手里、也没办法藏于地下的货币居然能得到全世界的肯定。甚至像弗雷德威尔逊这样广为人知且备受景仰的风投天才最终也对其表示肯定，那我就姑且相信这是种真正的“钱”吧。
The story that follows reminds me that Bitcoin can neither hold it in its hands nor hide it in the ground to gain the world’s recognition. Even a well-known and well-respected talent, like Fred Wilson, finally says for sure , and I think it is a real & ldquao; money & & rdquao;
——What’s App，兄弟们？明白吗——What’s App和What’s up啥的……
& mdash; & mdash; What’ s App, brothers? & mdash; & mdash; What’ s App and What’ s up and what & Hellip; and & Hellip;
——我觉得咱们花190亿美元买他是不是赔了？
& mdash; & mdash; do I think we paid him $19 billion?
二月二十一日——Whats app？！马克 扎克伯格捡了个大便宜
本周的技术类大事是Facebook以190亿美元现金加股票组合收购了WhatsApp。我的妈呀，对于一款通讯类应用来说，这样的价码实在有些夸张。不过我猜马克扎克伯格认为这笔买卖能让他的公司在发展中国家的移动市场上更具竞争优势，因此也算物有所值。但实际结果如何，我们还须拭目以待。 Facebook acquired WhatsApp with a combined cash-and-stock portfolio of $19 billion. My God, this is an exaggeration for a telecommunications-type application. But I guess Mark Zackberg thinks that his company
当然，当我听到WhatsApp这款应用，首先想到的就是当初百威啤酒做的那个老广告。另外，我发现WhatsApp的创始人们肯定已经听够了用户们的“What’s app”之声。当然，反正已经拿到了190亿美元的收购金额，相信他们会用微笑的表情面对一切恼人问题。 Of course, when I heard about WhatsApp's application, the first thought was the old ad made by Bawe's beer . Moreover, I found that WhatsApp's founders must have heard enough of the user's & ldquo; What’ sapp” voice. Of course, they had already received $19 billion in acquisitions and believed that they would face all the trouble with smiling faces. 时代华纳有线电视 Time Warner cable. ——我也不太清楚，反正Comcast方面说他们会在上午八点到下午四点之间到这里完成收购交易。 & mdash; & mdash; I'm not sure, anyway, the Comcast side says they'll be here between 8 a.m. and 4 p.m. to finish the purchase deal. 二月十四日——运气不错，Comcast现身收拾这副烂摊子 本周大新闻来自有线媒体领域，Comcast公司同意以450亿美元收购时代华纳。这笔交易已经在原则上得到通过，但仍须等待监管机构与股东的批准。当然，时代华纳面临的最大难题在于需要始终保持清醒——因为Comcast给出了长达八小时的潜在磋商区间。别干别的，时代华纳，这八个小时你就老老实实等着！ ——敬爱的领袖希望朝鲜自主研发的操作系统与Mac OS X拥有类似的外观效果？为什么不学Windows呢？ & mdash; & mdash; beloved leaders want Korea’s autonomously developed operating system to have similar appearances as Mac OS X. Why not like Windows? ——敬爱的领袖只是有点疯，但又不傻。 & mdash; & mdash; beloved leaders are just a little crazy, but not stupid. 二月七日——即使是金正恩也没那么疯 February 7th 当然，本周技术业界的最大新闻是微软公司终于确定了新任CEO的人选。不过我感打赌，本周最有趣的技术消息还得说是朝鲜的最新操作系统在外观上与苹果的OS X保持了高度一致。不知道敬爱领袖金正恩是否就此作出过说明，但不管怎么说，他终归是做出了这样一个出人意料的理智决定——至少比跟公牛队的外星人丹尼斯 罗德曼交朋友更理智。 Of course, the biggest news of the technology industry this week is . I bet that the most interesting technical news of the week was North Korea's latest operating system , which is highly consistent with Apple's OS X on the outside. I wonder if Kim-Hung did anything about it, but he finally made such a sensible decision & mdash; & mmedash; at least by
——你问过Siri了没？电影什么时候开始？ & mdash; & mdash; did you ask Siri? When did the movie start? ——问过啦，不过她说她正忙着跟瓦昆 菲尼克斯交流感情呢。 & mdash; & mdash; yes, but she says she's busy communicating with Vackon Phoenix. #p# 一月三十一日——与她相知相爱，直到奥斯卡结束 大家现在可能已经知道了，瓦昆 菲尼克斯在电影《她》中所扮演的蠢蛋男主角不可救药地爱上了由斯嘉丽 约翰逊配音的操作系统。这部电影取得了一系列辉煌的成功，并荣获多项奥斯卡提名——其中甚至包括一项最佳影片提名。 As you may already know, the stupid hero who played the movie in her fell in irretrievably in love with the operating system of Scarlett Johnson's voice. The film has a series of brilliant successes and has won several Oscar nominations & mdash; & mdash; and even one of the best film nominations. 不用说，这也引发了一系列后续疚。如果大家打算在未来几个礼拜寻求Siri的帮助，恐怕需要准备好充足的耐心——因为她可能正跟“那个人”打情骂俏呢。当然，也可能是在准备挑选出席奥斯卡颁奖礼的衣着搭配。 Needless to say, this also creates a series of follow-up guilt. If you are going to seek Siri’s help in the coming weeks, you need to be prepared with sufficient patience & mdash; & mdash; because she may be with & & ldquo; that person & & rdquo; flirting. ——我个人推荐鲑鱼配奶油莳萝酱，这道菜在Instagram上肯定会广受好评。 & mdash; & mdash; I personally recommend salmon with buttered cherubs, which will certainly be well received on Instagram. 一月三十日——试试鲑鱼，但也别忘了打开手机闪光灯 上周末我跟我老婆和两个小女儿（一个十一岁、一个十四岁）一块儿去吃晚饭。其实我们很少搞这种家庭聚餐，所以大家都很有点把这当成件正事的意思。吃饭的时候姑娘们不准掏出手机摆弄（很遗憾，我也不准），所以这顿饭给人的感觉实在不太一样——因为没人儿给饭菜拍照了。 Last weekend, I went to dinner with my wife and two little daughters (one 11-year-old and one 14-year-old). We rarely had this kind of family dinner, so we all took it as a matter of fact. Girls don't pick up their phones when they eat, so it's not really the same & mdash; & mdash; because no one takes pictures of the food. 这让我想到了我们曾经拍摄并在社交媒体上或者通过Snapchat等共享过的那些食物相片。也许餐厅应该从食物的美感以及镜头成像效果方面做做宣传？谁知道呢，也许这种办法真能吸引到更多顾客。 This reminds me of those food photos that we've taken and shared in social media or through Snapchat, among others. Maybe the restaurant should do something about the beauty of the food and the image effects. Who knows, maybe this is a way to attract more customers. ——孩子们，这就是所谓的“现金”。它是干啥用的？停电的时候，我们得用它才能买到东西。 & mdash; & mdash; kids, this is called &ldquao; cash & rdquao; what does it do? When the power goes out, we have to use it to buy things. 一月二十四日——没电了？没问题。咱们还有更传统的消费方式 January 24th. 上周末我带着孩子们出门办点事。在每个车站，我都做了一件原以为自己再也不会染指的事情——用现金付账，全部用现金。是的，我既没掏出信用卡、也没走什么移动支付，就是交的现钱。 Last weekend I took the kids out to work. At every station, I did something that I thought I would never catch again & mdash; & mdash; cash, cash, all cash. Yes, I didn't pull out my credit card or go anywhere. 这不禁让我想到，我的孩子们在虚拟支付的环境当中长大，恐怕会觉得现金交易已经像牙仙那样成为一种传说了。等她们牙齿彻底换完，也许那时候我们已经彻底投向了比特币的怀抱。又或者让她们注册Square，这样就能直接刷信用卡了。 It reminds me that my children grew up in virtual payment environments, and I'm afraid that the cash deal has become a legend like the Tooth Fairy. When their teeth are completely changed, maybe we're already completely into Bitcoin's arms. Or we're gonna get them to sign up for Square, so that they can use their credit cards. ——嘿，想知道你老公刚刚在网上查了什么吗？ & mdash; & mdash; hey, want to know what your husband just ran online? ——闭嘴，你这该死的温度调节器！ & mdash; & mdash; shut the fuck up, you temperature regulator! ——等等，你听到他在YouTube上看的什么视频了么！ & mdash; & mdash; et cetera, did you hear what he saw on YouTube? 一月十七日——物联闹心网 物联网在本周掀起了新的波澜，谷歌收购了专门为家庭环境制造智能化设备的厂商Nest，其中包括恒温器、烟雾警报器以及一氧化碳探测器等等。此次收购将为谷歌带来规模可观的全新数据来源，帮助其摸清人们在家中到底干了些啥。与不少朋友抱有同样的担忧，我对这种状态真的不太习惯：我怎么知道恒温器到底收购了哪些个人活动信息呢？
1984年的教育方式： Educational methods in 1984: 你到底是真的刷过牙了，还是把它沾了沾水假装自己刷过了？说！ Did you really brush your teeth, or did you put it in the water and pretend to brush it yourself? 2014年的教育方式： Educational methods in 2014: 你到底是真的刷过牙了，还是破解了这把牙刷假装自己刷过了？说！ Did you really brush your teeth, or did you break this toothbrush and pretend to brush yourself? 一月十日——孩子们用破解方式解决日常难题 本周的大新闻来自于拉斯维加斯召开的2015年美国电子消费展。众多厂商在这里展示自己的全新商品，但其中牢牢抓住我眼球的是一款能够与互联网相对接的牙刷。据说这款产品能够收集数据并将其发送到手机上的应用程序当中，这样我们就能了解到自己对于牙齿的护理究竟到不到位。 This week's big news comes from the 2015 United States Electronic Consumption Fair in Las Vegas. Many manufacturers show their new commodities here, but what holds me firmly in the eye is a brush that relative to the Internet . The product is said to be able to collect data and send them to a mobile phone application, so we can see that our dental care is not in place. 听起来确实很酷，但作为父母，我总觉得能在睡前这段美好的时光里提醒孩子们刷牙或者问他们有没有刷过牙是件很温馨的事。我实在不明白为什么有人会舍弃这么好的机会，反而把任务交给设备来完成。 It does sound cool, but as a parent, I always think it's nice to be able to remind children to brush their teeth or ask them if they've brushed their teeth before they sleep. I really don't see why someone would give up such a good opportunity and give it to the equipment to do it. ——我听说，去年卖出的所有笔记本电脑当中、每五台里就有一台Chromebook。 & mdash; & mdash; I heard that there is one Chromebook in every five laptops sold last year. ——是啊，因为它们便宜而且功能齐全。 & mdash; & mdash; yeah, because they're cheap and functional. ——没错，它们甚至还能当手套儿戴呢。 & mdash; & mdash; yes, they can even be gloves. 一月三日——Chromebook成为新的瑞士军刀 3 January 今年的圣诞节，我和我老婆决定给两个小女儿（一个十一岁、一个十四岁）每人买一台Chromebook。理由很简单，我们真的受不了她们争夺（有时候动手、有时候只是口角）家里的MacBook Pro了，而且她们也确实需要一台设备来完成家庭作业。两个小姑娘对这份礼物也深表喜爱，因为Chromebook还真是挺漂亮的。 For Christmas this year, my wife and I decided to buy a Chromebook for each of our two little daughters, an 11-year-old and a 14-year-old. The simple reason is that we really can't stand the fact that they're fighting for MacBook Pro in their home, and they really need a piece of equipment to finish their homework. The girls also love this gift, because Chromebook is really pretty. 显然，我们不是在辞旧迎新时惟一决定购买这款产品的客户。大家可能还没意识到，2013年中售出的全部笔记本电脑中有五分之一都是Chromebook。这些设备似乎已经给传统计算机带来了不容忽视的威胁。谁知道随着其逐步壮大，它们还会取代哪些我们熟悉的设备呢。 Obviously, we are not the only customers who decided to buy this product when they left town. You may not realize that of all laptop computers sold in 2013. These devices seem to have posed an indefensible threat to traditional computers as they grow.
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